These are the times that try men's souls.

Obviously, a thru-hike is tough on the body. Especially the feet, but it's tough on your whole body, and a lot of people physically cannot complete a thru-hike, and often quit when they realize their physical limitations.

An even larger number of people, however, I suspect quit due to the mental and emotional stress involved with a thru-hike.

I write this entry on one of my mentally toughest days on the trail. I woke up under a scumy bridge, surrounded by the smell of piss. The rain had stopped, for the moment at least, but I knew the forecast was for more.

The trail would largely follow a scenic trail along the meandering Suwannee River, but I didn't care anymore. It would just be more of what I'd been seeing for the last few days. Then it would become road walking again, never an exciting thing.

Frankly, I didn't have much to look forward to, and that's never good for one's disposition.

Some of my hardest days, mentally speaking, are the first few days after Amanda leaves from a visit. She's a heck of a lot of fun, and brings much joy into my life. =)

When she leaves, the joy usually leaves with her. I think she sneaks it into her bags or something when I'm not looking.

But seriously, I often spend the next few days wandering around with a dazed look in my eyes thinking, "And why do I want to be out here?"

I imagine all the things I would do today if I weren't on the trail. I'd probably be in Seattle, waking up in a cold room. If it were cold enough, I might turn on the heat a little. Just in the room with the computer, however, since my fingers can't type very well in cold weather and I'd need to type to work on Atlas Quest.

If it were raining, and I vaguely remember the Weather Channel saying something about a big storm hitting the northwest (as well as the midwest and northeast, but that's another matter), I would probably walk to the library during a lull in the rain, or perhaps stop for lunch nearby.

I'd read magazines, and oh how I'd love to read a BuisnessWeek or something engaging.

That night, tonight, I'd probably watch something on television to relax, and if nothing new or interesting was on, perhaps watch a DVD of something.

Instead, here I am. I'm camped illegally in land used by the timber industry. I think there's a papermill nearby. To be perfectly precise, I'm about halfway down Camp P Rd. According to my map, that's at approximately 30 degrees, 18 minutes, and 20 seconds north, and 83 degrees, 22 minutes, and 0 seconds west.

It will likely be the only time in my entire life I will ever be at this precise location, thank God. =)

Miraculously, despite the weather predictions, it did not rain all day, but I still set up my tarp since it could still very well do so at any moment. Nasty looking clouds out there.

It's dark now, 7:43 PM according to my pedometer, and I'm using my headlamp to see what I'm typing. Occasional I slap at mosquitoes or flick an ant off of me.

A few minutes ago, a truck drove by on this dirt road I'm camped alongside. Knowing darned well I'm not supposed to be camping here, I quickly turned off my headlamp when I heard the truck approach, then watched it drive by from behind the bushes on the side of the road.

The truck was something of a surprise. I could tell no vehicles had driven on this section of the dirt road since the rain last night (no fresh prints) and hoped that meant by camping here, no one would drive by during the night or in the morning before I left. One truck isn't too bad, though.

And now I just battled a very large moth who felt that the light on my head was its home.

I'm feeling awfully lonely and alone at the moment. These are the times many hikers call it quits and go home.

I will not, however. I knew going into this hike I'd have my low days, and I'd have high days, and things will brighten up. They always do.

It's 7:51 now, and I just heard the first few drops of rain on my tarp. I'm okay with that, though, since I'm tucked safe and sound underneath it.

My biggest worry is if the wind will shift directions or grow stronger. It's been coming in from the south and I set my tarp up to protect me from wind in that direction. A strong wind will make me drop that side of the tarp lower than it currently is. Annoying, but better than getting wet.

A 90 degree shift in the wind isn't too big of deal--I'll crunch up on the side away from the wind. If it moves 90 degrees and becomes a strong wind, I could have problems. I'd probably take the trekking pole out as a support if the wind is coming from that direction, or lower the rope against the tree if it comes from the other.

The rain is getting heavier now. Perhaps it'll get the bugs to stop bothering me.

Except for a spider that just crawled under my arms as I typed this. I guess he wanted the dry protection under my tarp as well, but I flicked him out into the cruel outdoors. He's got to learn to fend for himself, just like I have. =)

I'll let the ant crawling around on my Waldies stay where he is, though.

Why am I out here again?

I don't mind if it continues to rain all night--I'm already in bed for the night--but I have my fingers crossed it'll stop by sunrise so I can hike dry. The weather forecast predicts more rain tomorrow, so I won't hold my breath, but I'm hoping.

Yesterday too was a rather sad and depressing day, but I still smiled with joy twice. I reached a phone and was able to check the comments people left me on my blog and sent through AQ mail--always fun and encouraging to read--and I got to talk to Amanda who was on a layover in San Francisco. I bet it's a lot cooler there than here in Florida!

Despite the weather and my gloomy mood, there's not much to report today. The most exciting moment was finding a group of Outward Bound folks camping in the woods. I quizzed the first guy I saw, asking how long he was out there (3 days) and which day he was on (2nd day). I asked how his night went (wet and rainy, oh yes, been there, done that) and wished him drier weather in the future.

It wasn't until I had passed several younger people outside their tents with sleeping bags and clothes outside to dry that I realized what a miserable night they must have had. They were in tents, but almost everyone one of them seemed to be trying to dry out. One of them complained to me that they got "flooded," and looking inside their open tent I could see that the floor was completely wet. How did they get SO wet in a tent?! Don't know why, but that amused me.

Goodnight, and good luck.